Back on July 7, I pushed the secret Pause button on Ox Herding so that I could dedicate time to a period of self-examination.
My life had hit a big-time speed bump and required all the commitment I could offer. Many of you extended support and I'm grateful for your messages. They mattered.
So . . . wazzup with the pause?
All of us understand how craving, attachment, anger, and ignorance create anguish and misery. Indeed, many of us came to practice precisely because of this.
Over the past weeks I looked at how these factors were poisoning my life. I mean, I peeled back the skin and really looked.
And I discovered something that 20 years of practice hadn't yet revealed - a profound attachment to the feeling-state of being respected, adored, and liked.
Once this insight appeared, I quickly uncovered how I manipulate and distort relationships to get this feeling. I'll do whatever it takes. And I also saw that when the world doesn't cooperate with my attachment, I give vent to anger.
In essence, I saw how I create the cycle of samsara.
Having seen something true about myself, I also could see the way to acknowledge and work with it.
In this way, the attachment itself might become a path to freedom. Frankly, it's more exciting than anything I've done in a long time!
And now I'm pushing the Play button so that together we can watch a few more reels of Ox Herding.