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April 14, 2010


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It's really tough to separate wants and needs with this one... perhaps just being is the way, always with compassion...

John Small

I am loving the photo theme that you came up for this week. GREAT idea. In fact, maybe I can use that to distract me from actually delving into the subject.

It's interesting to observe how wants really miss the boat on meeting actual needs. I think I'm just starting to understand the precept "do not misuse sex". "If it feels good, do it." really isn't living up to its promises. So much disconnect. More like the opposite of connection.

I still think you must be spying on me, Barry. This week's theme is VERY timely. I think it's usual for us to say we know what we want, but not have any inkling of the need buried underneath that. Thank you for the reminders to pay attention.

Barry Briggs

Steve, I share your view on this particular want/need - and at the same time feel some urgency to unfold and understand it more deeply.

John, we can satisfy all the five desires in the aisles of the local Bartell's Drugstore! (Oh, how I wish!)

I suspect that "if it feels good, do it" is the give-away that we're plunging directly into suffering.


hmmm...seems to me this is where I first found Ox Herding - the Blog of blogs! How neat to notice my experience of the same topic is so different almost exactly 7 months later! I think the craving for and indulgence in sex is no different from any of the other four - it provides a momentary illusion of control over our lives. I can take what I want, give myself what I need. A delusion of self-efficacy.


there's nothing like having a baby to change one's view of sex...
Do I need another baby, right now? No
Can I count the number of times I've had sex this year? er, yes


Having children certainly enlightens different aspects of sex, as not just something to be desired, but as a duty, or as something left behind temporarily with relief, or as something that has come back as a pleasant surprise!

mama p

Interesting to read comments by folks with kids ;) While pushing the stroller uphill today, passing by flirty teenagers, the very same thoughts crossed my mind! I love these questions... It seems to me to get to the heart of, "in order to become enlightened, what do I do about 'being human'?" or "what is it to be fully human?" and "If you are enlightened, are you still a human being?" Nice discussion.

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