Aitken Roshi wrote frequently about the importance of an upright life. Such a life not only involved formal Zen training, but also the hard training of relationship.
Roshi viewed all our relationships, from the intimacy of marriage to the injustices of society, as offering grounds for awakening.
In Original Dwelling Place, Roshi wrote about the importance of the challenges that arise in marriage:
[When we create a marriage], we walk the path of personal growth together. Facing the unknown, treading the unknown, we encourage each other through the dark night that inevitably sets in.
If we try to dismiss this dark night as a "midlife crisis," we find it cannot be dismissed and must be lived through.
Perhaps our path will be Buddhist, perhaps Christian, perhaps Judaic, perhaps humanistic with no religious name. In any case, in the perennial sense, it is a religious path. It is the way of wholeness and wellness we choose to take together.
In my experience, few Buddhist teachers have acknowledged that relationship is the path of wholeness and wellness.
Thank you, Roshi.