Revenge, 1

I am the most easygoing of men. All I ask from life is a humble thatched cottage, so long as there's a good bed in it, and good victuals, fresh milk and butter, flowers outside my window, and a few beautiful trees at my doorway; and if the dear Lord cares to make my happiness complete, he might grant me the pleasure of seeing six or seven of my enemies hanging from these trees.

From the bottom of my compassionate heart, before they die I will forgive them all the wrongs they have visited on me in my lifetime - yes, a man ought to forgive his enemies, but not until he sees them hanging.

Heinrich Heine: Gedanken und Einfalle

I came across this passage last week and it seemed to capture perfectly the self-deception in which we enshroud our desire for revenge.

I suspect most of us feel considerable reluctance to expose our taste for getting even. And it's no wonder - we've been told since childhood to turn the other cheek and do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

And yet . . . most of us seem compelled to extract our "just" deserts from those who have wronged us.

Of course, our stories of being wronged are . . . just stories. We invent them out of unseen intentions and motivations, and we take great delight in the story, telling it over and over, while ignoring the reality behind it.

This disjunction, if that's the word, provides an excellent place for self-study, the most difficult practice of all.

Comments

[Joseph]

On Saturday, on our way out of a restaurant someone whacked Fina in the head with the door hard enough to give her I mild concussion. It wasn't so much that it happened as much as he didn't even acknowledge us as he ran over to a table with two girls. It was the first time in my life I seriously felt like I could kill another person. All day I thought about how I could go back to that street and wait for him to pass by.

In the end, more than anything, I realized I must not be practicing hard enough if I was able to let those feelings take me over.

[Joseph]

Great quote, by the way! All he needed to do was to convince everyone else that he was a prophet and that God wanted his enemies hung. It probably would have happened!

[Barry Briggs]

Oh, Joseph, I remember that feeling so well - of wanting to totally destroy anyone who harmed my daughter. Wow, what energy!

[Ben Howard]

Barry -

Self-study is indeed a difficult practice. Well-said.

I do wonder how prevalent the Christian teaching of turning the other cheek is today. It may be going the way of other lost components of our cultural heritage.

I would also question whether personal narratives of being wronged are always "just stories." Sometimes people really have been wronged--and know it. Of course, playing the unwarranted role of victim or survivor has become all too convenient, both as a subtle means of revenge and as a route to power. But I would leave open the possibility that in any particular case the self-serving story might accord with reality. Perhaps what is needed is a transformation of the negative energy of our stories into something more constructive. In my experience, this too is an aspect of self-study.

[Genju]

Powerful quote and comments.

I find myself noticing moments when the opportu it's for revenge presents itself. Problem though, I'm a lousy sociopath and always screw up getting my own back. Now I just hear those moments as a chance to not make a fool of myself.

Threats to me daughter not counted in this. For that, I would gladly stand by with a baseball bat.... If she will let me....

[David Clark]

My problem with this stems from the fact that my "revenge" comes immediately, violently and entirely in my mind. This reactive response occurs with the speed of thought and causes only me to suffer, I never act on it. I am left with a slowly fading memory of some "story", one I despise.

Meditation does seem to soften this response, when I'm feeling whole I can feel sorry to the unskillful actions of others without needing to respond, even if only in my own mind. I take hope from this.

PS. I have a new posting up on fromtheloneoak.blogspot.com
You might find it interesting.

David